How to Deal . . . . . . With Your Parents

The College experience is not one you experience in a vacuum. Your parents are likely effect in some way as well. You, their precious child, is moving out. No longer will you come home every night where your parents can keep a close watch on you ensuring your safety. You are out in the real world now, and your parents might have some trouble dealing with that. This become especially true if you are the first child to go to college or the last, but middle children don't get off to easily, so don't feel unfairly picked on if you are the oldest or youngest.

Don't cut yourself off from your family. They have been there all along and are people you can count on to continue to be there. That said, boundaries must be set. That is right, you get to set the boundaries for your parents.

Let them know when and how they can and should contact you. If you want them to call you at night, tell them. If you prefer an e-mail instead, that's fine too. As long as your parents have the technical capacity to do what you request of them, few will complain. Instead they will be happy to see you are setting aside some time for them.

Some parents, for purely altruistic intentions, will call you or email you seemingly every five minutes. Know they are doing it because they care. Know also that unless you want that type of monitoring to continue throughout your adult life, you have to tell your parent in a nice way that they need to give you some space.

Tell your parents what you want. Do you want advice, a friendly ear, support, news updates from home? Give your family a framework to deal with. It becomes much easier when everyone is on the same page and knows what everyone else wants and expects.

Don't leave your parents hanging. Cliff hangers are good in movie and novel scripts, they are not good in real life with your family. If you are having some problems and decide to talk to your parents about them, be sure to let them know how things went. Don't just call them about negatives things. Let them share in your happiness when something good happens. If you only tell them one side of the story, that is the only side they will know. Make sure your family doesn't have a skewed view about your college experience and they won't worry as much. Show your family the appreciation they are entitled to. They have likely supported you your entire life, and may still be supporting you. Don't get so caught up in this new world of college that you forget about your parents back home. It doesn't take much to give them a call or drop them an e-mail, but it can do wonders to brighten there day.


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